BREAKING NEWS: Osama bin Dead awhile

Editor's Note: UPDATE -- I thought it might have been April 1st, not May 1st when I heard the announcement from Geraldo Rivera but, yes, Osama bin Laden is finally -- officially -- dead.   The article below reveals what a newsflash this really is.

Keith Johnson  
Revolt of the Plebs 

The next time the CIA comes up with another Osama bin Laden videotape, you might want to compare their images of the alleged al-Qaeda leader to the photograph I’ve provided here.  If he looks any healthier than that, then you’re probably looking at an imposter.

Yeah, Osama has definitely seen better days.  But give the guy a break, huh?  You wouldn’t look much better if you’d been dead for nine years.

Oh, by the way, in case you’ve just joined us?  Osama bin Laden is dead.

He died in the Tora Bora Mountains of Afghanistan on December 13, 2001.

He was buried in an unmarked grave within 24 hours of his death.  Case closed.

But don’t just take my word for it.  Top terror experts, intelligence analysts, academics, government officials, and even major political figures around the globe tend to agree that, “All the evidence suggests Elvis Presley is more alive today than Osama Bin Laden.”
I know this is old news to most of you, but I think it’s important to reiterate this fact.  Why?  Because Christmas season is upon us, and you know what that means:  Terrorism!

That’s right!  “Tis the season to be frightened,” and what 21^st century Christmas would be complete without a holiday greeting from the man often credited with masterminding the attacks behind 9/11?
But wait—it’s already Christmas Eve (at least it was at the time of this writing)—and although our government has been hyping the threat al-Qaeda poses to the American people, one central figure has been conspicuously absent from their conspiracy theories.

Could it be that our government has finally given up on trying to convince the American people that Osama bin Laden is still alive and kicking?  There sure is plenty to suggest that their efforts have thus far failed to inspire the kind of fear they need to justify these unpopular wars abroad, and the even more unpopular war on the civil liberties of American citizens here at home.

A CNN poll conducted in September of this year reveals that 67% of Americans believe it is unlikely the U.S. will ever capture or kill Osama bin Laden.  That’s a dramatic increase since 2001, when only 20% believed that it would be unlikely that the government would catch him.  One thing this poll does not address is why the American people believe it is unlikely that the U.S. will capture or kill Osama bin Laden.  But you and I know the answer to that question, right?  Right—because he’s dead!

By the time this poll was conducted, the American people had already grown tired of the ad nauseum attempts by our government to breathe life into this long dead villain.  Each new audio and videotape purporting to be that of Osama bin Laden failed to stand up to scrutiny.  One of the more prominent critics of these tapes is Former U.S. foreign intelligence officer Angelo M. Codevilla, who is now a professor of international relations at Boston University.  In March of 2009, Codevilla wrote a damning critique of the countless recordings in an article for American Spectator Magazine.

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